Death's Review on Doom The Dark Ages: A Welcome Return to Basics "Death's Complete Review for Doom: The Dark Ages" May 24, 2025 9 Mins by Death Doom: The Dark Ages (2025) is the third installment of id Software's contemporary revival of the legendary first-person shooter. It is also another reminder of how unafraid this developer is to innovate on well-established series norms. Gone are the tight Martian corridors of Doom (2016) and the high-flying Escherian arenas of Doom: Eternal (2020). In their place stands a medieval-themed semi-open world that feels equal parts Dark Souls (2011) gloom and Rammstein music video, but still remain unmistakably Doom, even if the demons bleed just a little easier than before. Doom: The Dark Ages is leaner, friendlier, and engineered for a wider audience. On default settings, the new game is noticeably more forgiving than its predecessors. The combat puzzle that once demanded flawless bunny hops and 6,000 APM weapon swapping strategies has been replaced with gentler cooldowns, forgiving parry windows, and a fully featured difficulty slider suite that lets players tailor the experience to their liking. The difficulty may be questionable, but the Slayer's hatred of demons is potent as ever. While series veterans will bemoan the changes to the default difficulty settings, specifically the Nightmare setting—which has previously acted as a sort of gut check for fans wanting to prove themselves—the difficulty sliders actually make Doom: The Dark Ages the most difficult Doom ever. Players have options to increase the game speed up to 150%, shorten the parry window to sheer milliseconds, speed up enemy projectiles, or even increase enemy damage. This allows for more creative ways to play the game than ever before, and there's a version of Doom here that might actually be impossible for even the most skilled humans to complete. My only criticism of the slider system is that the graduations are not granular enough. There is a big difference between doing 50% and 75% damage to enemies. The game would be better served if there were more intermediate options to hone the experience, especially since the upper limits may actually be beyond human capability. This system also makes me want more options, like limiting certain ammo types or modifying specific behaviors of enemies or weapons. Overall, it is a great addition that allows for more replayability than what we normally find on offer for games like this. The brilliance of id Software's Tech 8 engine is on full display in Doom: The Dark Ages (2025). Of course, the difficulty changes don't come at the expense of the game's technical execution. Id Software continues to reign supreme as the technical gods of the FPS genre. Doom: The Dark Ages is a coming-out party for Tech 8, Id's in-house game engine. The engine renders the frantic action at frame rates other shooters can only dream of. Texture detail is absurd. Ray-traced puddles faithfully reflect severed limbs as you hack them off enemies. And the game holds 180 fps on my 4090 with little effort. Id bragged they rebuilt the renderer to push more on-screen demons than Doom Eternal ever managed, and this has proven to be true. Sound, always Doom's secret weapon, hits as hard and makes every shield-bash super shotgun combo drip with satisfaction. While Mick Gordon's genius is sadly absent this time due to infamous conflicts surrounding Doom Eternal 's production, Finishing Move Inc does no harm filling the gap. I don't envy the task of trying to follow the work of the man that gave us bangers like BFG Division and Rip and Tear, songs that had had far-reaching influence beyond video games and into the metal genre itself. The score for Doom: The Dark Ages feels like Doom, but sadly there are few tracks that stand out. This won't be a soundtrack you will be blasting in your car while waiting at the drive-thru. The Doom's combat loop remains the core attraction in Doom: The Dark Ages , and the new guns feel both fresh yet familiar. Among them, the Impaler, a high damage drop shot bullet time sniper stand-in is exceedingly rewarding. The chain shot, which fires a wrecking ball that does massive damage to small groups, will be your go-to weapon for standing toe to toe with the game's toughest enemies. And of course, the BFG makes a return with its medieval version, the BFC, a massive one-shot crossbow. There are several weapon synergies that will help you unlock the gold Conqueror skins for each weapon mastery, and there are more customization options than there were in Doom Eternal . Doom: The Dark Ages features upgrades for three different melee weapons, weapon mods and runes to give your shield more offensive power. Like in the previous games, there is not a lot of depth as one would expect in something like an ARPG, but there is enough to allow players to adapt to their preferred play style. The Cosmic Baron is an intimidating foe that hits hard and fast. The most important weapon in your arsenal is going to be the shield. The Slayer does his best Captain America impression without all the, "We're the good guys" morality to hold them back, of course. The shield serves many functions beyond just protecting the Slayer from incoming damage. Locking on with the shield bash allows the Slayer to fly towards enemies, creating opportunities to initiate encounters by getting up close and personal with weapons like the Super Shotgun or locking on to distant enemies to escape a no-win fight. The shield can also be thrown to take out rows of demons or destroy enemy armor. Most importantly, you can parry incoming green projectiles back at enemies, but more on this mechanic in a moment. Here's how to do the Shield/Super Shotgun Combo. Given the movement opportunities that the shield provides, it's surprising that the main criticism of Doom: The Dark Ages has been the game's movement. While it is true that there is no double jump in Doom: The Dark Ages , it is also true that the Slayer's base movement speed is actually faster in this game than the others. The double dash has been replaced with a sprint button, making transitioning from fight to fight faster than it was before. There is definitely less verticality in Doom: The Dark Ages than there was in Doom Eternal . There are no yellow bars to fling the Slayer up in the air to headshot that imp that has been annoying you all fight. I actually welcome this return to the horizontal plane, as the high-flying acrobatics of Doom Eternal felt more like a departure from the original series than this game does. As the movement during combat has been reined in from what we played in Doom Eternal , by far the biggest change to combat in this game is the addition of the aforementioned shield parry. Parrying forms the basis for most of the combat in Doom: The Dark Ages . This mechanic is so heavily relied on that there are boss encounters where parrying is the only thing you need to do to win. Several times, I found myself standing motionless before certain bosses, focused solely on hitting parries to quickly counter with the weapon that synergized from the parry. Yes, mastering parrying was a rewarding boost of confidence and certainly felt engaging when fighting certain bosses. However, it also felt very one-note at times. I certainly don't mind using this technique to win a fight once, twice, or even seven times during a playthrough. But for the number of times a fight was either decided or lost by parrying alone, there were times it felt exceedingly tedious. I am torn over whether this is a step back or an improvement in gameplay. I very much enjoyed the parry mechanic, but I think more variation in the enemy attack patterns could have made instances where this mechanic was needed more rewarding. Overall, the combat in Doom: The Dark Ages is no less compelling and empowering than what came before, even if it relies too heavily at times on the parry mechanics. Id has opted for a more traditional style of play centered on giving players more choice when engaging most enemies and less on avoidance and resource management. As a result, the fights feel smoother than Doom (2016), yet also less like you're spinning plates as in Doom Eternal . Like the game's combat, the campaign's structure is also more open-ended. There are twenty two chapters that will take you roughly twenty hours to complete if you forego obtaining all the secrets hidden in some rather huge levels. The level design is straightforward enough to not be confusing while being open enough to give the player a sense of exploration, exploring for the collectible toys and power-ups hidden in secret areas. Your loyal Mecha Dragon, Serrat. Unlike some, I enjoyed the dragon flying missions. (Serrat is a good boy and should be treated as such.) They were nice interludes and set up the game's engine to show some spectacular vistas before landing to fight the real fight. They were much better than the giant mech fighting levels, which were pretty, but really lacked any depth to make me want to replay them. After spending over 40 hours with the game, I can confidently say that Doom: The Dark Ages delivers truck loads of medieval demon-smashing catharsis. The game's mechanics are a solid bedrock for id to give us even more. Doom: The Dark Ages has already shattered Doom Eternal 's numbers, with Bethesda calling it "Id Software's biggest launch ever." I can't wait to see what they do with the coming expansions. While the community appears to be less unified than before on the merits of Doom: The Dark Ages 's place in the wider Doom pantheon, I appreciate Id's emphasis on innovation over iteration. I highly recommend picking it up. See you on the other side. Doom The Dark Ages 2025 Track Name 00:00 / 08:41 Link Copied! Share Send Send Send Send A Welcome Return to Basics Death's Complete Review for Doom: The Dark Ages Review

Death's Review on Dark Glasses: Classic Giallo Style Horror "Director Dario Argento saves Dark Glasses, a film with few engaging characters" Jan 30, 2024 2 Mins by Death Dark Glasses is the much-anticipated return of storied Italian director Dario Argento . His long career stretches back to the 1970s, with his most acclaimed past works being The Bird With the Crystal Plumage (1970) and Suprisia (1977). Dark Glasses is the first time Argento has directed since 2012’s Dracula 3D. Dark Glasses is co-written by Argento, Franco Ferrini, and Carlo Lucarelli. Dark Glasses opens in Rome on a beautiful Italian summer day with an impending eclipse causing a sense of unease among the locals. Diana ( Ilenia Pastorelli ), a high-priced prostitute, observes the eclipse in a crowded park while dogs can be heard barking in the background. A mother and father explain to their child that “They’re barking ‘cause they’re nervous. Not only dogs but all animals are afraid. Even our ancestors were afraid of eclipses. They thought the sun disappearing was the end of the world.” The scene sets an ominous tone and establishes an interplay between light and dark, animal and human, and good and evil. Ilenia Pastorelli as Diana. Courtesy of Rai Cinema. Argento plays with these themes throughout the film, incorporating them into the Giallo style of Italian horror film-making, which he is known for perfecting. For context, Giallo originated as a horror genre in Italy in the 1960s and gaining international popularity in the 1970s. The genre marries murder-mystery plots with intense moments of horror, often featuring glamorous female protagonists stalked by unidentified killers in luxurious settings, think Halloween, but Laurie is wearing Versace and is being chased through an upscale resort in St. Barths. The Giallo genre heavily influenced American slasher films such as Halloween (1978) and Friday the 13th (1980), which brought the motif, especially the use of lighting, to suburbia and summer camps; locations more accessible to American horror fans. Unlike her sexually repressed American counterparts, Diana is a beautiful and glamorous Italian prostitute who shows no reservations concerning her station in life. In fact, Diana is what she needs to be to survive any situation; seductive with her clients, vicious when cornered by those who would harm her. Pastorelli’s portrays of a woman hardened by the perils of her profession, but not the judgments laid upon her. Her performance is memorable and engaging, but is sadly one of the few highlights among the films actors. This relationship has no reason for being. Courtesy of Rai Cinema. After the film's opening act, Diana becomes connected to Chin ( Xinyu Zhang ), a young boy, orphaned after a tragic accident. The film's narrative fails to utilize Chin's character to any effect. Despite Zhang’s adequate delivery of lines, the character lacks depth beyond being an overgrown handbag for Diana to drag through the film. The film struggles to develop any connection between Diana and Chin; Diana is unbelievable as a maternal figure, and Chin is annoying rather than endearing. The lack of chemistry hinders the film’s tension because the central relationship is not worth caring about. As a result, any peril the pair experiences is diminished since the audience doesn't see much to care about. The killer in Dark Glasses tries their best to fill in where this relationship falters. Unfortunately, the need to keep their identity secret until the later acts, a trope for Giallo films, proves even more frustrating. The killer is missing on the screen and as an existential threat. Argento tries to compensated for this with some moments of violence, but they feel contrived and disconnected from the rest of the film. A viewer could be forgiven for thinking they mistakenly bought tickets to an ill-conceived foreign sitcom featuring an Italian call girl and her adopted Chinese son. Overall, Dark Glasses' plot is disjointed and creates more confusion than fear. Ilenia Pastorelli's performance is one of the film's few high points. Courtesy of Rai Cinema. Despite these shortcomings in writing, Argento’s work behind the camera is easily the most interesting part of Dark Glasses . His use of color and lighting makes scenes come alive or feel sterile without being jarring the viewer. Every shot in the movie has something visually unique, with rarely two scenes being similar in camera angle, lighting, or even color palette. John Carpenter fans will recognize the directional style and lighting techniques that were innovated decades ago by Argento and other in the Giallo genre. Watching a master like Argento showing off his skills saves the films as it falls short in other areas. Dark Glasses stands out for its departure from the “sex equals death” trope too familiar in horror. Like X (2022) earlier this year, Dark Glasses refrains from depicting all sex workers as helpless victims. Diana is presented as an empowered individual who is comfortable with herself despite outside judgements. Her story is not a redemption arc from prostitute to nun, as a puritanical American audience would expect. Instead, the audience must accept her as she is, no excuses offered. It is refreshing to a horror movie not steeped in outdated views of female sexuality. Despite not being an impressive film or representative of Argento’s best work, Dark Glasses is a master class in visual technique that demonstrates that even long-established genres, and their creators still have something to offer. Note: A previous version of this review appeared on slayawaywithus.com on 6 Apr 2023. Dark Glasses 2022 Track Name 00:00 / 01:04 Link Copied! Share Send Send Send Send Classic Giallo Style Horror Director Dario Argento saves Dark Glasses, a film with few engaging characters Review

Death's News on ARC Raiders: Embark Drops Huge ARC Raiders News "Preorders are Finally Available and Server Slam Announced" Sep 23, 2025 1 Min by Death Update 23 Sep: According to an event posted in the official ARC Raiders Discord server, the Server Slam will be 50 hours in duration, starting at 9 AM EST on Friday 17 Oct and ending at Sunday 19 Oct at 11 AM EST. The Server Slam Event in the official ARC Raiders Discord Server. A lot of huge ARC R aiders news dropped today! The game is finally available for preorder on all platforms; the Standard Edition is $40 USD and the Deluxe Edition is $60 USD, with cosmetics and raider tokens being the only difference between them. Standard and Deluxe Editions comparisons. From the ARC Raiders Steam store page. Summary of the ARC Raider Preorder and Deluxe Edition bonuses. From the ARC Raider Steam store page The accompanying preorder trailer also teased at least two new ARC Enemies; the first looks to be a quadruped as tall as a human; the other is of indeterminate size as we only get a brief glimpse of a tank-like cannon turret. We got closer look at the walker arc see in the launch date trailer, which looks to be the same size or bigger than a bastion or bison. Terrifying stuff! Embark teases new ARC Enemies in the new Preorder Trailer. Embark also announced plans for a Server Slam shortly before launch from the 17th to 19th of October. The Server Slam will be on every platform and is open to everyone, no purchase required. Embark is also going to have a booth at TwitchCon San Diego this year. So while all the other streamers are lining up to play the game there, I’ll be streaming it on Twitch, ( twitch.tv/gameswithdeath ) so be sure to come and check it out. I definitely can’t wait to get back into the ARC Raiders world. October 30th can’t come quick enough. See you on the other side, Raiders. ARC Raiders 2025 Track Name 00:00 / 01:06 Link Copied! Share Send Send Send Send Embark Drops Huge ARC Raiders News Preorders are Finally Available and Server Slam Announced News

Death's Review on Scare Package II: Rad Chad's Revenge: A Love Letter to Horror "A Satirical Critique and Love Letter to Horror" 3 Mins by Death [THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS] On the surface, Scare Package II: Rad Chad’s Revenge (2020) is just another entry into the long line of horror anthologies that have proved popular in recent years. Viewers would be right to expect it to be what is typical of this kind of film: over-the-top characters, lots of screaming, and plenty of gore, garnered with a hearty serving of comedic suffering for our viewing pleasure. Yes, the film is all these things — for the most part. Unlike anthologies that came before, Scare Package II comes together to convey something greater than its individual parts can alone. Be it intentional or not, the film functions better as a nonsensical and satirical indictment of the horror genre than, as a horror-comedy, an anthology, or a sequel. Directed by Aaron B. Koontz , it is obvious from the outset, for better or worse that Koontz is obsessed with the horror genre. He does not spare the viewer the burden of his obsession either — the film is not for the horror uninitiated. There are so many references to horror canon and tropes that even the most seasoned fan may struggle to catch them all. It’s a film by horror fans for horror fans. Scare Package II opens in the aftermath of Scare Package (2019) at the funeral of titular ‘Rad’ Chad Buckley ( Jeremy King ), with several returning characters in attendance including Jessie Kapowski, the lone survivor of the Devil’s Lake Impaler’s recent killing spree. Things quickly descend into chaos as the attendees are captured by an unidentified foe and forced to play deadly games, à la the Saw franchise. This narrative encompasses most of the film, with the contributing segments acting as short intermissions to the pacing of it. Courtesy of Shudder, AMC Networks Featuring four segments, the shorts begin with Alexandra Barreto ’s Welcome to the 90s , starring Revealer ’s Shaina Schrooten is an examination of the transition of women in horror from needing punishment for embracing their sexuality during the 80s (Halloween, A Nightmare on Elm Street) to finding empowerment in that same sexuality in the 90s (Buffy the Vampire Slayer). The segment conveys its points effectively, if not in the most obvious manner, and sets the stage for additional meaningful critiques of horror tropes later in the film. Anthony Cousins directs The Night He Came Back Again! Part VI: The Night She Came Back , a sequel to a sequel inside of another sequel, which will probably get another sequel, because, as we are reminded, “Sequels are the lifeblood of the horror genre.” There’s a missed opportunity here to examine why a ‘horror sequel’ is almost contradictory, but Cousins wisely sidesteps the larger issues and effectively critiques the tired serialization that plagues so many horror franchises. Jed Shepherd , writer of the wildly popular Zoom horror film Host (2020) directs Special Edition , a segment that features the return of the Host cast and stars Jemma Moore . A group of women on the hunt for a ghost of a child who was killed by falling on swords on the set of Three Men and a Baby (1987) according to an urban legend that began circulating in August 1990. Shepherd’s effective use of light, obfuscation and CGI makes for the only segment in the entire film to stray from comedy into actual horror. More importantly, he asks the question we’ve all been wondering for decades, “Who the fuck is Ted Danson?” Courtesy of Shudder, AMC Networks Rachele Wiggins rounds out the selected offerings with We're So Dead , written by Koontz and Cameron Burns . It’s an ode to Stephen King film adaptations like Stand by Me (1986) and Pet Sematary (1989) with a side of The Fly (1986) and Re-Animator (1985). Of all the contributing segments, Wiggins most closely mimics the overarching absurdity and nonsense of the main narrative. The segment plays out in such a ridiculous fashion that makes one wonder if the kids on the set of these films are going to be okay or if they are going to keep weird things in their fish tanks years from now. There are some issues with Scare Package II’s execution: the pacing in some scenes drags and for every reference intended as a nod to horror fan solidarity, there is a dialogue that almost makes audiences want to go watch the films referenced instead. None of the characters evoke attachment or concern and many of the actors feel detached from the urgency of their predicament. The film is not entirely successful as a horror-comedy either. A lot of the jokes get lost in themselves or esoteric references. Koontz tries to rescue these moments with a gratuitous injection of gore and violence, but these seem like transparent attempts to make us forget how they were just laughing. There are a few humorous moments, but these are sparse and likely won’t land for some viewers if a horror film reference is missed. Scare Package II is more aptly described as horror-nonsense or horror-satire if such sub-genres exist. It is so shameless in its self-awareness, so willing to break the fourth wall, and so absurd in its devices, that it ends up subverting its very subject matter. Which forces us to examine the irrationality of horror itself. At times, the film would have made even Lewis Carroll pause. Courtesy of Shudder, AMC Networks Throughout the film, Koontz concedes that horror is tired, predictable, and mostly rehashed from the glory days of the 70s and 80s but, at the same time, attempts to comfort weary horror fans by saying what we already know, “Yes, they could have just gotten in the car and drove away the whole time, and, yes, Laurie could have run out of the house instead up the stairs, but isn’t it just better that she didn’t? They may be idiots, but they are our idiots, right?” In the end, the film comes together to be something more than even the filmmakers intended. By unconditionally embracing the horror genre, faults and all, it manages to reinvigorate the audience’s suspended disbelief and remind them why they became fans in the first place. Scare Package II is an effective satirical critique of the horror genre that audiences are unlikely to have seen in a very long time. Note: A previous version of this review appeared on slayawaywithus.com on 22 Dec 2022. Scare Package II: Rad Chad's Revenge 2020 Track Name 00:00 / 01:04 Link Copied! Share Send Send Send Send A Love Letter to Horror A Satirical Critique and Love Letter to Horror Review

Death's Review on Pearl: Pearl is a Powerhouse Film "An Exploration of Sexual Rebellion and Cultural Legacies that Resonate beyond its Setting" Sep 17, 2024 2 Mins by Death Note: A previous version of this review appeared on slayawaywithus.com on 26 Jan 2023. Pearl , a prequel to the acclaimed X (2022) and the second movie in the X film trilogy, opens on a beautiful and idyllic Texas farm reminiscent of Hollywood’s silver screen era pictures like Gone with the Wind (1939) and The Wizard of Oz (1939). Director Ti West uses technicolor saturation levels, sprawling camera angles, and a sweeping soundtrack to evoke a sense of grandeur typical for depictions of rural life on film in this period. West co-wrote the script with star Mia Goth . Out of this pastoral paradise, Pearl (Goth) appears as an innocent farm girl with ambitions beyond the confines of her family’s property. She preens privately in her room, sneaks off to see forbidden ‘moving pictures’ in town, and dreams of dancing on stage to adoring audiences, all out of the eyesight of her domineering German mother, Ruth ( Tandi Wright ). However, her dreams encounter opposition as the realities of her life come into view. Beyond the usual demands that one would expect living on a farm, Pearl is also responsible for helping her mother care for her ailing father ( Matthew Sunderland ). Goth and West skillfully build sympathy for Pearl in the opening stages. However, this sympathy is tested when Pearl’s capacity for violence emerges, and the carnage begins. Pearl's violence is terrifying because of how her femininity is portrayed. She is childlike and dependent on the love of those around her, which aligns with traditional agrarian values. Unfortunately for Pearl, she only experiences love when her actions align with the expectations of others. She is loved for the utility of her gender and only in the way that others choose to recognize it. When she attempts to use her sexuality to fulfill her desires, she finds punishment or abandonment. As frustration mounts, Pearl states, “… you have no idea what I’m capable of.” This foreshadowing exceeds all expectations as Pearl descends into cruelty and malice. Her eventual brutality exceeds even the worst that Lizzie Borden was only accused of. Like Borden, Pearl’s violence resonates that much more, not only because of a natural distaste for murder but because it rejects an entire value system, one based upon her fertility and expected female roles. Serving as backdrops to Pearl’s sexual rebellion are the influenza pandemic of 1918-1919 and the First World War. Both events combined killed millions of Americans and fomented widespread anti-German sentiments. Germans, historically one of the largest immigration groups to the United States, were accused of being spies for the ‘Vaterland,’ intentionally spreading the pandemic, and were frequently attacked violently. German families who did leave took measures to hide their heritage by changing their family names, claiming another acceptable European ancestry, and refraining from speaking German in public. Mia Goth makes the dichotomy of Pearl's innocence and brutality look easy. Given this backdrop, Goth and West are not just writing about denied female agency but also reflecting on contemporary reactions to the recent COVID pandemic. If sympathy exists for Pearl and her forbidden dreams, then compassion should also exist for Asian Americans who recently experienced the same discrimination. In a way, Pearl is an ethnic anti-hero struggling against the world’s injustice due to no fault of her own. She is a prisoner not only to her gender but her ethnic heritage as well. Goth navigates Pearl’s predicaments and skillfully transitions her from dutiful daughter to merciless killer in an authentic and nuanced performance. She conveys Pearl’s sexuality and rage equally, making these characteristics equally impactful. She makes Pearl feel sympathetic, even while carrying out her heinous crimes. Right up to the closing shot, it is evident that Goth has poured all she has into Pearl. In all, Goth’s performance deserves recognition at the highest levels. West supports Goth’s performance with outstanding direction, cinematography, and storytelling. The tempo of the film never fails to engage the viewer’s attention. West’s framing of each scene effectively builds tension, even if no pitchforks are flying at a given moment. West’s use of red is worthy of special mention; red features prominently in almost every scene and is unusually visible due to the heightened saturation levels. Like his use of animals as emblems for violence, fertility, and decay in other parts of the film, red visually embodies the power struggle between characters on screen. West’s skill as a storyteller is on full display and is a pleasure to watch as the film unfolds. Pearl is an outstanding and masterfully crafted horror film. Goth’s performance shines simultaneously with sympathy and brutality. She delivers one of the best performances of the past year, and not just in horror. Note: A previous version of this review appeared on slayawaywithus.com on 26 Jan 2023. Pearl 2022 Track Name 00:00 / 01:04 Link Copied! Share Send Send Send Send Pearl is a Powerhouse Film An Exploration of Sexual Rebellion and Cultural Legacies that Resonate beyond its Setting Review

Death's Review on Vampus Horror Tales: Campy and Sinister "Vampus Horror Tales's campy, lovable host belies the film’s more sinister statements on ‘love’ and violence. " Jan 31, 2024 3 Mins by Death Vampus Horror Tales (2020) was released in Spain to generally positive reviews and found a larger audience in 2023 with a digital release on multiple platforms. The Spanish-language film features four segments by “first-time filmmakers” that revolve around the worst of all human emotions: love. The segments are partitioned by a Tales for the Crypt (1989) inspired host, Sr. Fettes, played by veteran Spanish actor Saturnino García . Sr. Fettes is a violently brutal analog to the better-known Cryptkeeper masked, but his loveable exterior sets him apart. The name ‘Fettes’ appears to be a play on the Spanish word for fat, ‘fet,’ alluding to Fettas as the fat surrounding the meaty segments of the film. It's not a flattering description, but it's accurate. Fettes, or Vampus as he prefers to be called, is an unassuming but playfully murderous grave keeper. He spends his days burying bodies and his nights exhuming the same bodies, with only his pet zombie, Toby, to keep him company. His only escape from this mundane existence is his horror comic books featuring “necrophilic tales” (his words, not mine). Saturino García as the titular Vampus in Vampus Horror Tales. Courtesy of Quiver Distribution. García excels in the tsk-tsk nature of the role, swinging mallets, shovels, and chainsaws with glee. Despite being 88 years old, García delivers a lively and physical performance. Non-Spanish speakers have no trouble connecting with his passion, even with the subtitles. Vampus is a sinister character in his own right, as he murders on a whim, but that is okay because he doesn't “need to kill people. It's just that the world is full of dipshits.” An irrefutable defense for murder, if one was ever uttered. Overall, the interlude segments, directed by Víctor Matellano , are campy fun and serve as welcomed rest spots from the more sinister subject matter in the anthology. The segments of Vampus Horror Tales explore the emotion of love in all its brutal ignobility. Like the two-sided nature of this emotion itself, the film is also shot in black and white. The film starts with “ La Boda ” ( The Wedding ), directed by Manuel Martínez Velasco . La Boda explores love turned to rage in a claustrophobic setting. Like many relationships, the segment begins with innocent infatuation but escalates into horror, intimating the cyclic nature of domestic violence. Felix Gómez and Elena Furiase deliver brutal performances, navigating the transition from desire to rage as reasonably as the short segment time would permit. The conclusion is troubling to watch, and Velasco provides much to ponder in the limited time. Felix Gómez and Elena Furiase in La Boda. Courtesy of Quiver Distribution. While La Boda serves as a strong opener, there are some weaker segments. In most horror anthologies, the second segment is typically the weakest, and " Cumpleaños " ( Birthday ), directed by Erika Elizalde , does not fail to deliver in this regard. Elizalde tries to say something about revenge, but nothing is gained from the segment other than a spontaneous need to go to a horror theme park if those still exist. Nacho Guerreros in Segunda Cita. Courtesy of Quiver Distribution. Following this weak second segment comes “ Segunda Cita ” ( Second Date ), directed by Isaac Berrocal . Segunda Cita is a terrifying statement about women and violence. The segment is not fun to watch, uncomfortable in its conclusions, and something the viewers will quickly want to forget for all the right reasons. The cruelty on display is primal and should fill better men with rage at the lesser members of their sex. Actor Nacho Guerreros is terrifying as the assailant, and his opposite, Erika Sanz, rightly draws the viewer’s sympathy. It is easily the most unnerving segment in the collection and is tense up to the final moment. This is one everyone should watch only once and then never again. The final segment, “ Linaje ” ( Lineage ), directed by Piter Moreira , provides a solid finish. A couple of aid workers, in love with each other, battle a deadly virus that originated in a hot dog. While the premise sounds comedic, the execution is anything but. Moreira delivers some interesting mechanics on vampire zombies that deserve more exploration. The direction is the best of all the segments, and Moreira tells an exciting, well-paced, and tense story. Frederico Repetto and Vicky Jorge also give solid physical performances. While the story veers into ‘what the hell is happening’ territory near the end, it is a strong closer exploring the only form of selfless love the audience will see. Vampus Horror Tales is a campy and sinister work that deserves attention from non-Spanish-speaking audiences. The film is an uncomfortable exploration of the worst parts of love, punctuated by the lovable Vampus, who fills the audience with joy when he appears. Appropriately, Vampus Horror Tales became available via digital release on Valentine's Day, February 14, 2023. Vampus Horror Tales 2020 Track Name 00:00 / 01:04 Link Copied! Share Send Send Send Send Campy and Sinister Vampus Horror Tales's campy, lovable host belies the film’s more sinister statements on ‘love’ and violence. Review